Alex the Badass – Creation of a Superhero

Standing only 5’5, our heroine is unassuming. She, let’s call her Alex, works as a maid cleaning the homes of the excessively rich. Yes, a maid. And no, not that kind of maid. None of that faffing about in french aprons. We’re talking a modern cleaning lady in knee pads and latex gloves. The job is demeaning and the pay is shit. But at night- at night she fights crime. On a goddamn motorcycle. Oh and she knows Krav Maga. Yeah, sweet. Alex is confident and snarky, but also hotheaded. We’ll make her hair fire engine red to really drive that point home. So she’ll have to wear the helmet when she fights so know one can know her identity.


So at night she roams the streets of… uh Portland? Yeah. Portland is weird, no one would blink and eye at a short girl on a motorcycle with a stun baton. Oh she has a stun baton by the way. The retractable kind so she can whip it out like wich-chaa. And then beat the shit out of criminals. But she doesn’t kill them because she doesn’t do that. She has a strict code of ethics because someone has to now that Superman is killing people.


Her outfit is utilitarian. So of course a badass motorcycle jacket, pants, and boots. Not sexy heeled boots, like Doc Martens. Who the Hell would want to try and fight crime in heels? That’s just stupid. Oh and she wasn’t raped. Ever. It’s never a thing. She might stop a rapist or two, but it never happens to her. Because God, why would I ever want to talk about rape in my escapist action fantasy? That shit is real enough.


So she fights crime, but if she’s such a badass why not become a police officer and earn slightly more than she does scrubbing floors? That’s a good question, is it because the police are corrupt and evil? No, because that’s played out and lame. People put their lives on the line every day and we repay them by shitting all over them in our media because you got that speeding ticket that one time. Maybe she failed the psych exam or something. I don’t know, we’ll figure that out later.


Oh- and her love interest is adorbes! She’s a librarian so big glasses, oversized Cosby sweaters, leggings and cute boots. She can have heels if she wants because she’s not fighting crime. Her name is Lisa. She’s shy and nerdy, but super smart and knows a shit ton about history which will come in handy a lot. Lisa leaves the library late at night and gets mugged, but then Alex is all like wich-cha and kicks the muggers ass. Of course at first Alex can’t accept she loves her because of her horrible fear of intimacy. I don’t mean sex, I mean in the way of trusting others and letting people into your comfort zone. She sucks at that. Don’t worry, they’ll make out eventually.


You know what we need? Some foil. A character who is in stark contrast to Alex to help distinguish her character. Let’s make him a cop. But not a dick cop, we’ve been over this. He’ll be calm, pragmatic and believe in the law. We’ll call him Wade. Wade will try and stop her at first. But after she brings down the kingpin of that human trafficking ring, well, he has a change of heart. After all, thanks to a lot of legal bribes the douche would have gotten off scott free. Maybe there is a place in the world for vigilante justice. Eventually he starts helping her and arrests a bunch of the people she beat the crap out of too.


Alex will struggle with her sense of right and wrong, whether she’s doing more harm than good and explore her own flawed nature. She’ll also have lots of cool conversations with Wade about justice and stuff. Yeah, sweet.