Grow up, Internet, I’m 30.

Today I’m 30.

According to the internet, I’m old. But you know what?


It’s ground into women from an early age that aging is good until you’re 18, and then all at once very VERY bad. How dare we continue to age after sexual maturity! IT’S LIKE WE’RE PEOPLE. Not surprising from a culture that values women for our sexuality over… y’know, the entirety of our beings. No matter. Because as I said: I’m old now. And therefore now disregard all misogynist bullshittery aimed at me.

It’s strange to think that in my twenties, I looked back at my teen years and I’m all like…


And now, I’m 30 looking back at my twenties all like…


My twenties allowed me more freedom over my life, but it also came with a host of new anxieties. The combination of bad relationships and a desperate need to grow up as soon as humanly possible actually managed to make me more insecure than I was as a teen. This was due partly to my own (what I have dubbed “shit-tastic”) circumstances, having little to no family support or mentoring of any kind. The greatest advice ever given to me was from a social worker whom, while I sat shaking like a dumpster puppy in his office, said

“Magdalen, distance yourself from people who are fucked up.”

Best. Advice. Ever.

As I said in my previous article, Haters Need Not Apply: Friendship and Third Wave Feminism, I’m not interested in keeping toxic people in my life. I don’t have the time or patience and good riddance to both. Here are a few other things I’m done with:

Worrying what people will think of my outfit.

Pants without pockets.

Avoiding confrontation so people wont think I’m mean.

Men who make excuses for themselves.

Hoping I don’t look too old.

Hoping I don’t look to young.

Diet soda.

All of the above things? Fuck all y’all.

In other news, I realize content release has slowed down and I’m sorry for that. My life has changed rapidly over the last 6 months, I’m only now starting to find my bearings. I’m hoping to have more content coming more quickly as things finally become boring again!

2 thoughts on “Grow up, Internet, I’m 30.

  1. That is some pretty awesome advice. I’m starting to learn and purge the toxic crap out of my life. It’s tough, especially because I still have so much toxic crap in myself. I’ve never really worried about aging though. I mean, I can’t wait until I’m 55 so I can get the cheap meals at Denny’s, haha

    Yes, and definitely fuck diet soda!

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