Get the fuck out of my way

WARNING This post is about Feminism. Disregard.

The only gender studies course I ever took was Gender and Equality. I hated my teacher. Not because of her feminist ideals, but because she was a class snob who commuted from Portland and treated the community college students like imbred morons. I hated that she questioned my decision to take my former husband’s last name, as if this concept was supposed to be mind blowing to me.  I hated that she told the white men that they were all “personally responsible for slavery” because after that few showed up for class.  In the end I aced the class just to spite her for assuming I was a dumb redneck. But she wasn’t all bad. She was bold, funny and kind of a badass. I remember watching her move around the room one day, a bottle of cleaner for the whiteboard was blocking her path and with one casual movement she slide it aside so she could lean on the board.

This blew my mind.  I found myself most impressed that she would move an inanimate object out of her way. And that’s kind of sad.

As a kid our air conditioner leaked in my room.  It consistently dripped chilly water onto the carpeted floor. Without an understanding of how to stop it, I put down a bunch of newspapers. In the months I lived there I learned how to maneuver around them and it became second nature. Walk here, not there. Side step here- jump to avoid the puddle at the end. And I’ve done it ever since. To the point where I’m so subconsciously passive it effects how I clean my house. “Why should I pick up this thing when I can simply move around it?” The thought of me moving it seems like a disruption of it’s natural state.  It’s the most insane thought when you analyze it, “My need to be here is not as important as this thing. This object.” That’s fucking stupid. And where I know no men who have this problem, I’ve known many women who do.

Hoarding shows are also very telling. The vast majority of hoarders are sad, lonely middle-aged women who’ve grown so accustomed to moving around everyone and everything else that they can’t even clean their homes. They don’t feel like they have any power to effect their environment. There is a reason this mostly happens to women. Because men are not raised to be believe such ridiculous ideas, and we are. And that’s dumb. And I’m going to stop doing it.

So get the fuck out of my way.


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